vonRocko wrote:I bet you have the most astonishing rack on these forums!!!

...

sorry, I couldn't resist.
Hi, VonRocko! Glad to see you're still around, years later!
Hey, I gotta admit, it took awhile for me to finally figure out what you were talkin' about when you said that you bet that I had the most astonishing rack on the forums! I was thinkin', "I don't wear
any of my medals in a rack these days!" And so, at
first, I thought that you were kinda thinkin' that I must be really distinguished and accomplished with lots of medals and all that kinda stuff that I just don't wear; but then I thought to myself, "who am I tryin' to kid, here? He knows better!" So, I thought and thought, until it finally hit me, what you were
really talking about!
You are sooooo sweet! Thank you!
It's
such an
honor, to have an old friend like you be
so impressed with my
Queen medal that I wear beneath my Avatar! But you know what? It has to be in your signature, to really be considered a rack! Besides whi-...
[SIZE="1"]
We interrupt this post with breaking news: Dixicrat, consort to the Queen, has declared a major breakthrough in his analysis of Mae's Queeniness!
"I've finally realized," he says, "that the most majestic aspect of you is the enormity of your
cluelessness, my Queen! Can something of such
immensity, of such
magnitude be anything other than majestic? Nay, it cannot."
The Queen does not believe herself to be clueless, majestically or otherwise, and so Dixicrat's
Queeniness Analysis 1.0 is tabled for further review, before public release.[/size]
Like I was saying before Dixi's weird outburst, I think it's
super sweet of you to imply that my single solitary sweet little "Queen medal" makes me have "the forum's most astonishing rack"! So I was trying to think of some sweet gesture that I could do for my old friend VonRocko, to kinda "pay you back" for your starry-eyed devotion to your sweet little queen, you know? And that's when I had a great inspiration!
I was thinking about the cute little crown on my pretty little medal, and I thought,
why don't I send VonRocko a picture of me, wearing a crown?!
It just seems kinda
apropos, don'tcha think? I mean, think about it! Here's this dude who gallantly makes this kinda implied statement about the greatness of my Queeniness, so what
better way to say "thank you" than to send him a picture of me wearing the tiara I got when I won a beauty pageant, when I was 22!
VonRocko, the picture that I'm going to email to you is of me a few years ago, after I won my first beauty pagent! I can't publicly post it, because I'd kinda be a
little self-conscious. That's because the picture was taken right after the very last phase of the pageant (the
swimsuit competition), and that was the first year that they allowed string bikinis. I'm
so sorry, but that's the only picture that I have of me wearing the tiara. Just kinda ignore all that skin I'm showing, and focus on how
happy I look, and how
pretty my tiara is, OK? That way, whenever you look at my Queen medal, it will give you
happy thoughts, when you remember the pic- ...
[SIZE="1"]
We interrupt this post with more breaking news: Dixicrat has just informed the queen of unfortunate news! The image in question is technically owned by the company that sponsored the pagent, [font="Courier New"]Hotties-r-us[/font], and any transfer or reproduction of the image, in whole or in part, without the express written consent of [font="Courier New"]Hotties-r-us[/font] is a violation of federal copyright laws. The Queen is deeply dissappointed to be informed of this.[/size]
Sorry, old friend! I don't have any other "crown" pictures that I can send you.
...
Wait a second! I just thought of something even
cuter!
I've got a
great picture of my grandmother wearing one of those kids' "Burger King" crowns at a beach party not long ago, and
everybody says that I look
just like she did, about seventy years ago! She's gotten kinda fat, but just kinda ignore all that skin she's showing, and focus on how
happy she looks wearing her crown, OK? That's how
I'll look, in 2081!
So: check your email, for a delightfully sweet surprise! No need to thank me; it's the least I can do, for such a devoted friend!
Majestically yours,
Mae
Epilogue
"Dude, I gotta tell ya, this is gettin' kinda old," said VonRocko's friend Bill, with a sigh. "Four days in a row!"
Bill took a seat at VonRocko's computer. He typed rapidly for a few seconds, staring at the computer monitor. "OK... I'm logged onto your email account. Checking your inbox... Uh... no, still nothing from 'Havely'!"
"Look for something from 'Aphrodite Mae'!'"said Rocko nervously, standing a safe distance away from the screen.. "Is there anything from Aphrodite Mae?!"
Bill scanned the screen. "Nope! I don't see anyth- ... wait. Yeah, there is. Looks like it's got an attachment. A picture!"
"Omigod", breathed Rocko. "Don't open it!"
"Why? ...Virus?"
"Worse," moaned Rocko.